


i like you best when you're just with me (and no one else)

by taeyongslut (jackbumtrash)



Series: sweet (domestic bf's yumarkhei) [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 's cringey asf :3, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Boyfriends, Domestic Boyfriends, Kissing, M/M, Mark and Yuta are there for him (in more ways than one) ;), OT3, OT3 rarepair, Xuxi gets a bit insecure, beware of me mentioning sexy times, domestic AU, i suck tho ngl, mentions of sexy times (again???)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-27 13:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackbumtrash/pseuds/taeyongslut
Summary: Wong Yukhei gets insecure sometimes.Alternatively:Yukhei's not having the best of days, and Mark and Yuta are there for him, as always.





	i like you best when you're just with me (and no one else)

**Author's Note:**

> college is about to start (from monday) and so are my tears and mental breakdowns  
> also i'm p sure once classes start w i won't be able to write a lot(???) but i hope i can manage time well enough to squeeze in some good writing sessions here and there (knowing myself i'm sure i'm just gonna say fuck college and keep writing one thing or the other lol)  
> also this was written as i was having a p bad self-hate episode lmao soooo idk  
> and unbeta-ed ofc as usual nothing new here lol ☺💕  
> also omfg i'm sorry idk where to mention this but [my lil baby markhyuck/renhyuck fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17565698) has like over 1k hits and 60+ kudos and SO MANY NICE HEARTWARMING COMMENTS like holy crap thank u all sooooo much for the love and support u've shown my baby i love u guys!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Wong Yukhei gets insecure sometimes.

 _Sometimes_.

It’s not often that his mind wanders, _but everyone has good and bad days_ , and though Yukhei considers himself immensely blessed to be a part of the people who have more good days than bad, that does not go to say that he does not have bad days either.

Naturally, as someone who does not have bad days very often, whenever it happens, his bad days are well – pretty bad.

Wong Yukhei’s bad days include a lot of overthinking, a lot of self-degradation — well he wouldn’t call it degradation as much as he would say that it is more of him knowing (and stating to himself, though in a not very nice manner) what he deserves and what he does not, and a lot of questioning (and lowering) his self-worth, amongst some other, not very self-appreciative activities, to put it mildly.

Today, for example, is a _bad day_.

And it is a bad day not only because Yukhei is not in a very positive state of mind (if it was so, then the past entire week was a bad week, but it isn’t so, and the past week wasn’t _bad,_ _not at all, right?_ ) — but also because he is at a work-related event, with his shaky mental state, _on Valentine’s Day_ , and with the looks of it, he probably isn’t getting out of here anytime soon.

God, can Yukhei have one single day to himself where he can wallow in his self-pity and degrade himself some more until this bad episode finally ends? Why must the universe have it out for and against him all the fucking time?

And God Yukhei is so sick and tired of constantly fake-smiling and fake-laughing at whatever the higher-ups are saying because he likes his job a lot thank you very much, and he would like to keep his job for as long as he can so if that means being a fake-ass bitch and finding humor even in the most pathetic punchlines ever to exist, he's gonna do it all.

He takes a look at the scene in front of him.

He is surrounded by some older men and women all dressed to the nines (very much like himself) and with different sorts of drinks held in between their fingers, while to his right stands one of his authors, who is one of the biggest things currently in the market, and all of them are talking about his rise to success and all that other bullshit Yukhei _really_ cannot bring it in himself to care about.

The man, now clearly used to the spotlight and the questions, talks to them easily, telling stories after stories of all the trials and tribulations that he had to go through to make it big. He talks about how bad his previous editors had been ( _if you leave this company you’re gonna spout this same shit about me, so don’t mind if I tune your BS out_ , Yukhei thinks to himself only barely hiding a grimace), and how he thought he’d never make it this big but then he was signed by their company and everything was history, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

And then he praises Yukhei about how good he is, and how efficient, and how he is so glad to have him as his editor, and Yukhei feigns that he is blushing – smiling and ducking his face so that it looks even more believable, when the only thing he does once his face is out of everybody’s view is roll his eyes so hard he sees stars.

Has Yukhei mentioned that he hates people, and socializing?

If not, then add that too to the list of the reasons why today is _such_ a bad day.

And as if that isn’t enough in itself (because why not, right?), all these people are looking at him weirdly. Weird – as if Yukhei is some sort of painting in some museum (that these people don’t understand), and they’ve never seen him before (they see him at work _every day_ ), and it is getting on his nerves the longer it goes on.

The only consolation he has at this point is that his boyfriends Mark and Yuta are also, inevitably, stuck in this very same event, though sadly they are at the opposite end of the room where they’re mingling with the people that they know, talking business and other things Yukhei doesn’t understand very well.

Standing where he is and unable to leave this circle of higher-ups, all Yukhei can do is steal numerous glances at his boyfriends, none of which are reciprocated from either of them. And okay, Yukhei gets it, you know? He gets it.

Mark and Yuta have been together for longer, they’ve loved each other for longer, and that is why it is perfectly understandable that they are the most comfortable with each other, that sometimes they forget the world around them and get lost in each other. (Yukhei understands how easy losing yourself in Mark and Yuta is, because he loses himself in them every day.)

And fine, if he is to be painfully honest, he has only known them for somewhat over a year, while Mark and Yuta were _together_ for four years already before Yukhei ever even came into the picture, so he knows that he will never have that level of intimacy with them. He knows he will probably never have with them what they have with each other.

It should not bother him, it really should not, but it still sometimes does. And it bothers him so much that his head spins because of thinking about it so much. Yukhei sneaks another glance at his boyfriends and his heart does that thing again, where it skips a beat because his boyfriends Mark Lee and Nakamoto Yuta are so beautiful. Individually and together.

Yuta has his arm around Mark’s waist and Mark is leaning into his side, laughing at something someone has said. Yuta stares at Mark with a look of utmost devotion in his eyes, a look that is mirrored by Mark (and Yukhei himself), and in response to Yuta's loving gaze, Mark scrunches his nose up in that absolutely adorable way of his.

Yukhei unconsciously sighs, his heart filling up with so much love for his significant others.

They complete and complement each other so effortlessly, so beautifully, Yukhei’s heart aches just thinking about it. Such gorgeous, glorious men, yet sadly, stuck with someone as painfully plain and insignificant as him, what a shame it is.

Yukhei releases a deep breath once the higher-ups that were gathered around him finally leave him alone, though the author standing next to him stays right where he is. Yukhei spins around the drink in his hand for some moments, dragging the awkward silence as he does not know how to leave the other man alone without seeming too rude.

"You don't like socializing much, do you?" The man beside him asks, voice soft and airy, sounding something like wind-chimes. And Yukhei takes a proper look at the man. He's not too hard on the eyes, Yukhei supposes, and well, if Yukhei was not so hopelessly in love with his boyfriends, he would’ve found this man extremely attractive.

“I’m not much of a social butterfly, hyung,” Yukhei replies to him, which is followed by him taking a small sip of his drink. There is clearly not enough alcohol content in his drink and he could definitely go for something stronger right now. His insecurities are eating him up from the inside, and he doesn’t want to be able to think anymore.

The lesser he thinks, the better it is for him.

Especially tonight.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” the man stage whispers, and Yukhei looks at him curiously only to oblige him and to not come off as very rude, so the man continues telling him his ‘secret', "I hate people so much sometimes, and socializing even more. So I just visualize the people that I don't like as poop emojis."

Yukhei tries not to laugh, he really tries.

But when he visualizes it himself, being surrounded by poop emojis, he really cannot hold his laughter in. Wasn't he thinking of the same thing a while ago? About how much he hates people and socializing. And he is partially very grateful to the other man for making him laugh, because even if momentarily, it takes Yukhei’s mind off of the things bothering him.

“You probably don’t think much of me, Yukhei-ssi,” the man starts, startling Yukhei for the tiniest of moments until he straightens himself, “but I truly meant it when I said that I’m fortunate to have you as my editor.”

Yukhei bites his lip, not knowing what to say. The other man sounds genuinely grateful, and Yukhei does not know what to make of his confession. _Well, you wouldn’t be very fortunate to know what I thought of you a while ago_ , the latter thinks but keeps his mouth shut.

“Thank you, hyung, I’m glad to know you think so well of me,” Yukhei says after some moments of silence and the man in front of him gives him a gentle smile.

And Yukhei, weak, weak Yukhei, feels his heart skip a beat at the soft grin.

No. _Bad Xuxi_ , he chastises himself, _you have two boyfriends_.

 _Yeah, two boyfriends, none of whom are paying any attention to you_. A harsh voice in the back of his mind whispers, and even though Yukhei doesn’t like it all that much, he cannot deny the fact that it states.

They talk some more, the man cracking witty jokes and making Yukhei laugh, and Yukhei’s actually having a nice time for the first time since he came to this event. Even that is until out of habit his eyes seek his boyfriends again, and they still seem to be in some sort of discussion until they start laughing again.

They’re wrapped around each other’s sides, and they look so happy and perfect together, in front of everyone, it leaves Yukhei breathless.

He wishes this place was open-minded enough to accept three-way relationships, but he can’t expect that when same-sex relationships have only barely begun to be accepted and acknowledged. He can't expect anyone to know he has two partners and not flinch. He can't have any harm come to their reputations or their jobs.

And yeah, it hurts to not be able to openly flaunt his relationship with the golden couple that is Mark and Yuta, but as long as the people close and important to them know what is going on, it should be fine. Right?

It should be. It _is_ fine. Most of the days anyway. But today is not most days. And Yukhei is not in the best states of mind, and he _hates_ crowds, and he _hates_ socializing, and he's also being a brat and he knows he is overthinking everything, but would it hurt his boyfriends to just look at him once?

He is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears a voice calling out his name.

“Yukhei-ssi, I’m afraid I’ll have to leave now, we should talk some more, get to know each other better, what with you being my editor and all.” The man chuckles when Yukhei looks at him and pulls the latter into a hug.

Yukhei hugs back, and to his utmost surprise, the man leaves right after he presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

Maybe Yukhei blushes, but _he’ll keep that to himself_ , he thinks, blushing again as he makes his way towards the drinks bar to hopefully gets himself something stronger, and also to be surrounded by people because as much he doesn’t like people, he dislikes being alone way more than that.

It isn’t very long after that that the event finally comes to an end, and Yukhei is so tired all he wants to do is sleep the entire weekend away. _Actually, that is a very good idea_ , he thinks. _Maybe I should sleep through the weekend and perhaps then I’ll go back to feeling nice again_.

He takes his leave from all the senior officials, bowing at everyone, smiling and shaking hands, and it takes him another long couple of minutes until he is finally all done and set to leave the venue, and he wastes no time in doing that. He looks for his boyfriends to find them gone already, and checks his phone to find a message from Mark saying that they’ve left, with the timestamp of half an hour ago.

They’ve could’ve told him they were leaving, in person too. Yukhei fails to see how they could’ve not come to him for a minute and just taken some time to inform about their leaving – but you know what? It’s okay. Yukhei’s only in the way anyway. They deserve someone so much better, someone who is not Yukhei. Someone who is better, smarter, and not a whiny cry-baby like him.

_No, Yukhei, they love you more than life, you know that._

_Then why doesn’t it feel like that tonight?_

On the drive back home all Yukhei does is overthink. And overthink, and overthink, and then overthink some more. It’s a miracle he makes it to their apartment in one piece, given how preoccupied his mind was throughout the entire journey. His footsteps are sluggish as he drags himself to the parking area lift, and his stomach feels queasy once the lift starts moving.

He reaches their floor sooner than he’d like, but on the same note he’s also somewhat glad because that means he won’t get to be alone with all that negativity any longer, and also that he’ll get to rest well. He just wants a break. He wants this to end.

Mark and Yuta should just call it quits with him and be with someone who actually deserves them.

Yukhei clearly does not.

He opens the door to their apartment expecting his boyfriends to have gone too sleep already, after all _they did reach home so much earlier than him_ , instead he is met with dimmed lighting, scented candles, and rose petals. It breaks his heart.

It breaks his heart because his boyfriends visibly love him so fucking much that they’d do all of this for him even though they were stuck in work _(work-related event, same difference)_ for the entire evening and Yukhei still goes around doubting himself and their relationship.

How could he be so stupid?

Before he knows it, a tear is flowing down his cheek, warm and salty as it slips its way down to his lips and then inside his mouth. Yukhei sniffs and makes his way towards the shared bedroom after he shuts the door closed behind himself.

The door opens and Yukhei finds himself embraced by his boyfriends, who are smiling at first, whispering soft Valentine’s wishes in his ears, but then the excitement quickly changes into concern once they see him in tears.

“Baby, what happened, why are you crying?” Yuta asks as he hugs Yukhei to his chest, voice heavy with worry, and Yukhei feels so small. Mark has his arms around him from the back where Yukhei sits on the edge of the bed, face buried in Yuta’s chest, and he is surrounded by so much warmth and love and affection that it makes him so happy and at the same time, so, so sad.

“Hyung— I’m so sorry— I—” Yukhei stutters in between his choked off sobs, and Yuta only murmurs gentle words of reassurance as he pets his head and lets him cry it out. Yukhei vaguely registers Mark whispering soft words of love and praise by his ear and he sniffles harder.

Once he calms and quiets down he gives into both Yuta and Mark’s coaxing and tells them how he hasn’t been having the greatest time for the past week, how far his insecurities had built up and how he’d felt tonight about a lot of things that happened.

“We couldn’t keep our eyes off of you baby, we even got teased about that by Taeyong, Johnny, and Taeil hyung,” Mark tells him, chin perched on his shoulder and his lips brushing Yukhei’s earlobe with every word. The mentioned people are some of the only ones who know about their relationship and they actually _understand_ them, probably because they share an identical dynamic between the three of them.

Yuta hands Yukhei some tissues to clean up — _when did he get up and get those?_ — and he even helps the latter do so, gently cleaning any remaining tear tracks and the rest of the younger’s face once the younger is done doing so himself.

“I’m sorry I ruined our first Valentine’s Day together,” Yukhei sniffles again, voice steadier now since he has stopped crying, thankfully. He’s biting his lip now, absentmindedly playing with Yuta’s fingers that are splayed on his thighs, with the man himself sitting on his knees in between them.

“With you both with me, every day is Valentine’s Day,” Mark says, and Yukhei can hear the sincerity in his voice, he can hear the smile in his voice, and when Yuta scoffs a _‘you’re so cheesy get outta here’_ Yukhei knows he’s never going to be able to love someone as much as he loves these two men with him.

“I love you two so much it actually hurts,” He chuckles softly, and in return his fingers are given a soft squeeze, while a chin digs into his neck, right where it tickles. Yukhei giggles a little, and he hears his boyfriend release breaths of relief.

“Right back at you, baby,” Yuta winks, and then leans in to kiss Yukhei, and oh, that feels nice. Yuta is a smiler, he always smiles during kisses, and Yukhei loves it when he does. Yuta’s palms are warm on his cheeks, and then oh, he feels Mark’s hands untuck his shirt from his pants only to slip inside and caress his stomach.

“So pretty,” Mark’s whisper tickles his ear, and Yukhei’s so gone already.

“You can’t even see me from there,” he whispers back.

“Don’t need to,” Mark’s answer comes back, and Yukhei flushes.

And that night his boyfriends show him what worship in bed actually means, and Yukhei has felt good in life, in bed, but this is quite possibly the first time he feels this good. Yuta and Mark praise him for every breath he takes and every move he makes, and with Yuta's mouth on so many places on him, and Mark's fingertips not leaving an inch of his skin untouched, Yukhei cannot even think, much less say anything.

He’s too far gone in the pleasure every slightest of touches brings, and later that night as he covers his mouth with the back of his hand, dress shirt still on but nothing else, while Yuta fucks into him slow and deep and Mark moves his hips like a sinner on him, both of them praising him endlessly yet all genuinely, Yukhei knows that there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

And though Wong Yukhei will probably continue to have bad days, he knows that no day will truly be bad as long as he comes home to his boyfriends.

As long as he comes home to the loves of his life.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u liked reading this!  
> pls leave me a kudos and/or a comment if u did!  
> ur reminder that u'r beautiful and loved and so so important!!  
> i love u!  
> my [twt](https://twitter.com/glitteryongs) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/glitteryongs) in case u wanna scream @ or w me abt smth. 💌


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